What if…

Alice: “How long is forever?”

White Rabbit: “Sometimes, just one second.”

Alice in Wonderland

I am at a very exciting and scary time in my life right now. A lot here lately, I’ve been pondering over the uncertainty of the future. I get really excited when I think about how I want my life in the future to be: graduate college, go to medical school, start a family…

But

None of the future I have planned out for myself is bound to happen. Right now, the future is not a tangible thing; it’s not something we can just pick up and bend a little to the right to make it how we want it. Sometimes, there are things put in our paths that we can’t control and we don’t know are coming and it’s scary. Even though I’m more excited than I ever could be scared, there’s always a little part of me that wonders “what if…”

Although I tend to think of little things, like “what if I don’t get into medical school?” or “what if I don’t end up liking my major?” But…what if something big happens? Because it could. People never seem to think about if their favorite person in the world dies or if they somehow go broke, and maybe that’s a good thing (we probably shouldn’t be spending perfectly good moments of our lives thinking about the imperfectly bad, right?), but, what if? The future is a scary place, and unlike the “Giant Unknown at Our Disposal,” which can just remain unexplored, this is something that’s going to happen. The future, no matter how much we try to avoid it, is going to happen. And, more than likely, it’s going to happen faster than we want it to. And, maybe in as little as “just one second,” it could be gone. And that’s really something scary to think about.

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